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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can be considered negative for young people and society generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In certain countries, it has become increasingly common for young people to spend their free
time
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 at
malls
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 and
this
Linking Words
 is often viewed as a negative. In my opinion, though there are more productive
activities
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, it should be considered a positive overall given the most likely alternatives. Proponents of
this
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 statement point out that
malls
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 are typically not a productive use of one’s
time
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. A person who goes to a mall is likely shopping, watching a movie, hanging out idly with friends, eating from a fast-food establishment, or engaging in another
similarly
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 passive activity. Better use of
time
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 could involve playing sports, reading a book, creating art, or working. The rise of
malls
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 globally beginning in the 1980s signalled a period when younger individuals strayed from healthy
activities
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 and took part in more socially and personally subversive pastimes.
However
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, the fears detailed above are overblown compared to other free-
time
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activities
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. These days, most young people who are free spend an outsized proportion of their
time
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 doing truly unhealthy, passive
activities
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. These largely
center
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centre
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 around technology and include wasting
time
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 on social media, taking pictures, playing online games, chatting online, streaming movies and videos, and using the internet. The mall is now actually a better use of one’s
time
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 since it likely will involve in-person socializing, precisely the domain
that is
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 most at risk for younger generations and society today. In conclusion, though
time
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 spent at
malls
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 is not the ideal activity for a younger person, it is preferable to a more passive lifestyle and should
therefore
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 not be condemned. It is likely,
however
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, that
malls
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 will continue to decline in popularity in the future so
this
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 concern will become less relevant.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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