IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays, fashion is becoming more and more important to young people. Some people think this has negative impacts on young people and on society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fashion
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 is playing a growing role in the lives of young
people
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.
While
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 style can be a healthy form of self-expression, I largely agree that today’s
fashion
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 culture has more negative than positive effects on young
people
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 and on society. The main concern is financial pressure. Rapid trends and constant advertising push teenagers to buy frequently, often beyond their budgets. Some rely on buy-now-pay-later plans, which can create debt at an early age. A second problem is psychological. Social media promotes a narrow ideal of beauty and the idea that outfits should never be repeated.
This
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 can harm self-esteem and make adolescents judge themselves and others by appearance rather than character. There is
also
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 a clear environmental cost. Fast
fashion
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 encourages short product lifecycles, leading to more textile waste and higher emissions from production and transport. At a social level, cheap prices can hide poor labour conditions in supply chains, a reality many young consumers are unaware of. That said,
fashion
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 is not inherently harmful. It helps young
people
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 explore identity, build confidence, and find communities with similar interests. The industry
also
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 creates jobs and can support cultural exchange. Encouragingly, a growing number of young
people
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 are embracing second-hand shopping, clothing rental, repair, and upcycling, which reduces waste and cost
while
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 keeping the creative side of
fashion
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. In conclusion, the current emphasis on rapid consumption and image does more harm than good, though the activity itself can be positive when practised responsibly. Schools, brands, and influencers should promote quality over quantity, teach basic budgeting, and make supply chains more transparent. With these changes,
fashion
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 can remain a source of creativity without undermining well-being or the environment.

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coherence
Make the main idea of each paragraph clear with a topic sentence.
content development
Give more detail to back each point with clear examples.
style
Use shorter sentences and simple links to join ideas.
accuracy
Check spelling and end marks so there are no small mistakes.
task response
Show both sides well, then state your view more strongly.
content
Clear view on the topic.
coherence
Good link of ideas across paragraphs.
evidence
Good use of real examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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