There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays? Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. You should write at least 250 words.

In today's world, the topic concerning
music
never fails to attract public attention. In
this
era,
people
are enjoying different kinds of
music
which begs a question; Why is
music
important in our
life
? And which one is more substantial local
music
or
music
that is
recognized internationally? In my opinion, my answer is local
music
is more important than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international
music
.
This
essay will show why
music
is crucial.
This
essay will
also
discuss why traditional
music
is preferable among
people
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
international
music
.
Music
is essential in our
life
. Because it recharges our batteries
peacfully
Correct your spelling
peacefully
.
People
could use it to decrease stress-related illnesses.
For example
, according to research, if stressed
people
listened to
music
regularly, their stress would decrease and they would enjoy their
life
. For
this
reason,
music
is be considered crucial in our
life
. It is beyond any doubt that popular and traditional
music
is more preferable among
people
than listening to
music
that is
known internationally. Because traditional
music
shapes the identity of society and gives a
sence
Correct your spelling
sense
of unity to it.
In addition
, it
also
brings good memories that
people
shared together.
For instance
, a new article found that sharing and listening to traditional
music
positively impacts communities 80% more than playing international
music
.
That is
why I believe that popular
music
is more valuable than
music
that is
heard all over the world. In conclusion,
music
is vital in
people
's
life
because it could decrease their stress.
This
article mentioned that traditional
music
is more valuable than
music
that is
recognized all over the globe because local
music
shapes the identity of the whole community.
Submitted by aymanshabakaa on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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