IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays, it is becoming increasingly common for people to move from one city to another during their lives. Some believe this trend offers personal and economic benefits, while others think it weakens community ties and causes regional imbalance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In recent years, it has become increasingly common for
people
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 to
move
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 from one city to another during their lifetime.
This
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 growing
mobility
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 is influenced by various social, economic, and technological factors.
While
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 the trend can lead to greater opportunities and cultural exchange, it may
also
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 result in weaker social connections and uneven
development
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. One of the main reasons
people
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 frequently relocate is to pursue better career opportunities. Globalisation and rapid economic
development
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 have created a competitive job market where
people
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 are required to
move
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 to different cities for employment, promotions, or better wages.
For instance
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, a software engineer from a small town may
move
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 to a major city like London or Berlin to access more specialised roles, advanced technology, and higher salaries.
Therefore
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, the desire for professional growth and financial stability often encourages
people
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 to become more mobile. One positive consequence of increased
mobility
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 is the promotion of cultural exchange and economic balance. When
people
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move
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, they bring their customs, languages, and perspectives, enriching the cultural fabric of their new communities and contributing to economic growth. Cities like Toronto and Sydney have become multicultural hubs thanks to the inflow of diverse populations, which has helped drive innovation and tolerance.
Thus
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,
mobility
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 can play a key role in fostering global understanding and regional
development
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. On the negative side, frequent relocation can weaken long-term social relationships and cause brain drain in some areas.
People
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 who
move
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 often may struggle to build deep community ties, and regions losing skilled individuals can suffer from slower
development
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. Many small towns in Eastern Europe face population decline and a lack of professionals because their youth migrate to Western countries.
As a result
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,
while
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mobility
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 offers individual benefits, it can create social and economic gaps between regions. In conclusion, modern
mobility
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 is driven by career, education, and lifestyle goals.
Although
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 it encourages cultural integration and economic growth, it can
also
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 lead to weakened social bonds and regional inequality. Balancing personal freedom with social responsibility is essential in addressing the challenges of
this
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 trend.

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or stories to support your points, particularly in the body paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. This can be improved with clearer linking phrases or transitions between ideas.
task achievement
Your essay covers both sides of the argument well and presents a balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear, with a good introduction and conclusion that reflect your main ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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