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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#improvements #today’s #health #care #society #people #numbers
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In the technological age today, almost all of our aspects of life have been transformed, and
this
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 includes
health
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care
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. An improvement in
health
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care
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 facilities means people will live longer, and there will be more elderly to take
care
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 of. Can society cope with
this
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? I strongly believe that society will be able to handle and provide good
care
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 for our senior citizens. To ensure that we can manage the situation, full backing is required from the government. In my country, Malaysia, we have a high proportion of elderly, and the government has helped build more hospitals and medical clinics around my area. These public clinics provide competent nurses that can help to ensure the
health
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 of the elderly in a specific location.
Furthermore
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, discounted prices on medical consultations and medicine are
also
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 offered to the senior citizen.
On the other hand
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, the private sector can play a role in taking responsibility for our elder population.
For example
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, a renowned property developer in Malaysia has developed a modern old age home,
that is
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 equipped with good facilities to reduce incidents in the house. On top of
this
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, many employers nowadays have additional insurance coverage for the retiree, and some of them provide continuous coverage up until 80 years old.
Thus
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, with the backing of private organisations, our elderly will be able to get adequate
care
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. To summarise, with the full support of the public and private sectors, we as a society can definitely cope with the increase in the numbers of elderly individuals in our country. Additional hospitals and medical clinics help the elderly manage their
health
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, and with more and more old people-friendly facilities are built, we can continue to give full support to our senior citizens in the country.
Submitted by izzatmbasri on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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