IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

“Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals.” Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#“some #people #zoos #animals
It is generally argued that it is very harsh to keep
animals
 in
zoos
;
however
, some people believe that
Zoos
 are very beneficial for taking care of
animals
 who are mostly suffering in forests. In
this
 essay, I will explain my points with examples and in the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
end I will give my opinion. On the one hand,
To begin
 with,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
animals
 in forests live a very tough life,
such
 as finding their food or searching for shelter from different climatic changes.
For instance
, in
Zoo
 many animal keepers are hired and they perform their duties. All
animals
 are provided with good quality foodstuff at a specific time.Caution Banners are hung all over the
Zoo
 only to meet the demand of
animals
.
Secondly
,
Zoos
 are the best location for entertainment .
For example
, Prior to the
Zoo
 in Peshawar, there was no
such
 place where both adults and children could enjoy Subsequent to it every one visits
Zoo
 and spend a great time.
On the other hand
, some people believe that
Zoo
 should be closed due to certain reasons.
Firstly
, keeping
animals
 behind bars forever is an injustice . To elucidate, wild
animals
 are fond of free life in forests owing to which their descendants grow more and live happily with each other.
Secondly
. Wild creatures have a habit of hunting in order to find meals which gets worse in
zoos
. To illustrate,
animals
 especially, Lions and Tigers hunt to eat,
as a result
, they become healthy and strong;
however
, in ,
zoo
 they get read-made food which makes them lazy and unhealthy. After having discussed the pertinent points related to the subject, it can be inferred that there is a contradiction between whether
zoos
 are good for wild
animals
 or not. In my opinion,
animals
 should be kept in
zoos
 because there they are taken care of by trained animal keepers.
Animals
 are an integral part of every country ,and they should not be left open to the disasters of nature.
Submitted by drsanaghani on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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