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Band 6.5

Many believe that it is important to protect all wild animals, while others think that it is important to protect some, not all of them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#animals
Opinions are divided as to whether each and every animal in the wild or only a portion of them should be preserved.
This
 essay will discuss the two viewpoints and conclude that all wild
animals
 should be cared for. On the one hand, it is understandable why some individuals are of the opinion that not all wild
animals
 need protection from
humans
. Some
animals
 can be a huge threat or a common pest to
humans
 and their livelihoods, like snakes, bears and some species of birds. Since these types of
animals
 are believed to cause only problems to
humans
, they do not need to be preserved.
Instead
, it is more efficient to spend government funding on caring for
animals
 that are useful to human lives and do not bring unnecessary harm to people.
On the other hand
, I argue that all kinds of
animals
 in the wild deserve to be protected and should not be allowed to face extinction. Each and every animal has a certain function in nature, regardless of whether they are harmful or harmless. So if some of them disappear, it may affect the natural balance in the ecosystem.
Humans
 may not experience the damage directly, but in the long run, problems may arise and it may be too late to solve them. If people are concerned about the possible dangers that wild
animals
 may bring to
humans
, there are ways to address
such
 concerns. One of them is conserving
animals
’ habitats so that they do not need to go outside their territories to find food.
To sum up
, even though some
animals
 may threaten people's lives, I believe they should be protected as well for the sake of ecological balance.
Submitted by koriente on

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task achievement
Be sure to develop your main points more fully to strengthen the argument, using specific examples to illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to aid the reader in following the argument more readily.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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