Some people believe that teenagers should be reqiured to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit

It is often said that nowadays about important community jobs and an active actions from young people. From my point of view, I partly agree with

this

point and explain the reasons for

this

in the below essay.

Firstly

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

teenagers must

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

respect their society and government. There is no denying, these people having a lot of free

time

and their study not use a full day from young boys and girls.

For example

, in different educational

centres

Add a comma

,centres

show examples

time

of study have borders and your students can be free after lessons or lectures. We all know students which love

Correct article usage

the

show examples

open air

Add a hyphen

open-air

show examples

, to walk in different public spaces.

This

situation about teenager's free

time

will

very

Add a missing verb

be very

show examples

help

Replace the word

helpful

show examples

to society.

Therefore

, they can

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

do community work.

In contrast

to the above point, most of them young folks want to relax at

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

their liberty hours.

Study

Add an article

The study

show examples

is hard and in today's modern world life is

very

Add an article

a very

the very

show examples

rapid, stream and unusual.

This

makes it clear why teenagers want

using

Change the verb form

to use

show examples

free

time

for fun,

relax

Replace the word

relaxation

show examples

and conversation with friends or parents.

For instance

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

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parents which gave the chance their children for

education

Correct article usage

an education

show examples

foreign

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a foreign

show examples

city, their son or daughter very wants to use free

time

for conversation

parents

Change preposition

with parents

show examples

and doing the community work

instead

. In conclusion, I partly agree with

this

idea. In my opinion, each teenager should

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

help

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society and his city, but he should get paid for

this

help. And young people's liberty

time

they are can use as they want.

Submitted by abvilion99 on Sat Feb 26 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

required
unpaid
community work
benefit
teenagers
life skills
volunteering
empathy
compassion
socially aware
responsible
interact
diverse backgrounds
cultural understanding
tolerance
work experience
essential skills
employment
interests
passions
career development
contribute
betterment
development
local community
mental well-being
stress
self-esteem
burden
academic
personal lives
time management
support
balance
participate
encouraged
numerous benefits
individuals
conclusion

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Some people believe that teenagers should be reqiured to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In some societies, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might the parental role develop in the future?

In some countries, young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of presssure to work hard on their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Many people are becoming fat.What is main reason of this.How it could be solved?