IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Drug abuse is an increasing problem in modern times. Discuss some reasons behind this and suggest ways it can be hindered.

#drug #abuse #times
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It is true that the
abuse
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 of illegal
drugs
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 has become a critical issue in contemporary society.
While
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this
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 is a serious problem, it can be solved by informing the public more about how dangerous
drug
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use
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 can be. The main cause of the rising incidence of
drug
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abuse
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 is that there are major misconceptions about
drug
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use
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.
In particular
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, the media portrays it as something exciting and harmless. Characters who
use
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drugs
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 on TV and in films are portrayed as cool or chic. Making matters worse is that
people
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 can readily access
drugs
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 these days, which gives the impression that
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drug
Fix the agreement mistake
drugs
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 can be taken freely without consequence.
For instance
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, stories about celebrities who
use
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drugs
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 but remain popular and famous can easily be found on the internet.
Also
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, there are a lot of websites dedicated to
people
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 talking about how to make, purchase, or
use
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drugs
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 without getting caught.
However
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, there are solutions to
this
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problems
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problem
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. One of the ways to combat
drug
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abuse
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 is to show
people
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 the true extent of the problems caused by illegal
drugs
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. Anti-
drug
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 campaigns could describe families with members who are missing or sick
due to
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 their
drug
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 addiction to really get the point across.
In addition
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, the message that
drugs
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 cause pain and unhappiness can be promoted
further
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 if more influential
people
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 speak up about it.
For example
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, a popular American actor served time in prison and ruined his career when he was young because of his
drug
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use
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. Afterwards, he honestly released about how horrible his experiences were. Listening to his terrible memories made more
people
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 understand how risky
drug
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use
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 really is.
To sum up
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,
it is clear that
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 a mistaken belief about
drugs
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 is a big reason behind the increasing number of
abuse
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 cases.
Nevertheless
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, the issue can be resolved by showing the adverse effects of
drugs
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 and the serious damage they cause.
Submitted by lss870311 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement is present in the introduction to more clearly set the stage for the discussion. This provides a roadmap for the reader and establishes a strong foundation for your arguments.
Task Achievement
Your main ideas are generally clear and the organization of your essay is logical. However, be sure to paragraph effectively, ensuring that each paragraph clearly focuses on a single main idea.
Task Achievement
While you have included examples to support your points, strive to integrate more specific and varied examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs by using a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, on the other hand). This will enhance the flow of your essay and make your arguments more coherent.
Coherence and Cohesion
It's good practice to review your essay for any repetitive ideas or statements. Aim for variety in your sentence structures and vocabulary to keep the reader engaged and to communicate your ideas more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
For a higher score, work on developing your conclusion more thoroughly. Reframe your main points and reiterate the importance of the topic, providing a clear and strong closing argument or suggestion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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