IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In several nations, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that it is important to spend huge sums of money on constructing new
railway
Use synonyms
lines
Use synonyms
 for high-speed trains between cities,
whereas
Linking Words
 others argue that the money should be allocated to developing the current public
transport
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I consider that constructing new
railway
Use synonyms
lines
Use synonyms
 can undoubtedly be beneficial, but it is equally essential to invest in improving public transportation. On the one hand, some individuals believe that when the government allocates significant funds to construct new
railway
Use synonyms
lines
Use synonyms
, it enables the public to reach their destinations effortlessly. Put differently, introducing an advanced mode of travel simplifies movement for
people
Use synonyms
, ultimately saving both time and money.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Japan, commuters once spent around two hours
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to their destinations.
However
Linking Words
, with the advent of bullet trains, it has become far more convenient for
people
Use synonyms
 to reach their destinations quickly and at a lower cost.
Consequently
Linking Words
, constructing new
railway
Use synonyms
lines
Use synonyms
 offers evident advantages to nations.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, I am in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 perspective.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others assert that allocating resources to enhance existing public
transport
Use synonyms
 will make it more appealing to commuters.
In other words
Linking Words
, when public transportation systems are upgraded,
people
Use synonyms
 are more inclined to use them
instead
Linking Words
 of relying on private cars, thereby reducing traffic congestion.
For example
Linking Words
, in Yemen, public
transport
Use synonyms
 is currently in poor condition, which discourages many from using it.
Hence
Linking Words
, if public
transport
Use synonyms
 were modernized, traffic congestion could significantly decrease.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I
also
Linking Words
 support the idea of improving current public transportation systems. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 opinions may differ, I believe that dedicating funds to constructing new
railway
Use synonyms
lines
Use synonyms
 is crucial.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it is equally vital to upgrade existing public
transport
Use synonyms
 systems.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining a consistent flow of ideas.
task achievement
Elaborate more on the benefits of modernizing existing public transport for a balanced discussion. Consider discussing environmental benefits or the economic impact.
task achievement
You effectively presented both viewpoints, maintaining a balanced discussion throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly introduces the topic and outlines your perspective, while the conclusion succinctly sums up your opinion.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant and help to substantiate your main points, particularly the example regarding Japan’s railway system.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: