IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyle in the countryside. Other believe that there are health benefits to living in cities.

#people #lifestyle #countryside #health #cities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that it is easier to have a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 in the
countryside
Use synonyms
. Others believe that there are
health
Use synonyms
 benefits to living in
cities
Use synonyms
.
Countryside
Use synonyms
 undoubtedly offers various advantages to a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
. In fact,
people
Use synonyms
 living in a country are unlikely to suffer from pressure and other mental
health
Use synonyms
 issues compared to those in the
cities
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because of the lower cost of living and less fiercely competitive environment.
For instance
Linking Words
, the companies located in Tokyo are likely to require their candidates' qualifications or professional experience to acquire a job, while those in Kyoto provide more vacancy job opportunities for applicants with a variety of backgrounds, which leads to a relaxed
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 and benefits
people
Use synonyms
’s
health
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is more beneficial for
people
Use synonyms
 to live in the
countryside
Use synonyms
 as they can enjoy fresh air, as opposed to dealing with different kinds of pollution in the
cities
Use synonyms
 like air pollution, noise pollution. The reason is that there are more industrial plants and private vehicles in the
cities
Use synonyms
, which emit a huge amount of exhaust fumes to the environment, whereas the country has more rooms to plant trees, which help purify the air and do wonders for
people
Use synonyms
’s
health
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are many benefits of
health
Use synonyms
 when
people
Use synonyms
 are living in
cities
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, they can access many facilities
such
Linking Words
 as gym rooms and yoga groups to find
people
Use synonyms
 who have similar hobbies to do exercises together.
In addition
Linking Words
, residents in the apartments can use their balconies to decorate like a small garden or use the space in the house to plant more trees.
For instance
Linking Words
, my colleague has a small space in her flat used for growing tomatoes and other vegetables, which makes her have a salad bowl every day. In conclusion, there are many ways to start a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 when living in
cities
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 do not need to go back to the
countryside
Use synonyms
 to have a life like that.
Submitted by ngochail911112 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: