IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In contemporary society, it is increasingly common for individuals to establish their own businesses rather than work for others.
Although
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this
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 trend is not without its drawbacks, I firmly believe that its advantages are far more significant. The primary benefit of
this
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 development is the autonomy it provides.
This
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 is largely because individuals are free to make their own decisions, enabling them to pursue their personal and professional goals.
As a result
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, they often experience greater job satisfaction and motivation.
For example
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, a person who is self-employed can make a schedule
according to
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 his or her availability and can make important decisions for the promotion of the
business
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. Another compelling advantage is the potential for higher financial returns, which allow individuals to achieve long-term economic stability. To elaborate, like salaried workers,
aself-employed
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a self-employed
 person cannot depend upon a fixed salary, as he can make more profits from the success of the
business
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.
Nevertheless
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, certain disadvantages should not be overlooked. One notable concern is the financial risk involved, which can result in significant losses, particularly when a
business
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 fails. To exemplify, a company owner has to take full responsibility if there is any loss in the
business
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 or work, leading to mental stress.
Additionally
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, long working hours may pose a challenge, as they can negatively affect work-life balance.
However
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, these issues are often manageable with proper planning and experience. In conclusion,
while
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 there are some challenges associated with self-employment, the
overall
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 benefits it offers are more substantial and enduring.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully before you say your final view.
task response
Add one more clear example for the bad side of starting a business.
task response
Explain your ideas a bit more, not only state them.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a natural way and make sure each sentence follows well from the last one.
coherence and cohesion
Develop the second main point with more detail so the paragraph feels more balanced.
coherence and cohesion
Check small word form and spacing errors because they can make the flow less smooth.
task response
You clearly give your opinion in the introduction and keep it to the end.
task response
You cover both advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are grouped in a logical order.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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