IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say football players who have talent are the best. Others say players who learn the skill are better. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #football #players #talent #skill
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The general public has the privilege of having a
talent
Use synonyms
 of
football
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 players.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
football
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 athletes who learn
skills
Use synonyms
 are better,
according to
Linking Words
 some individuals.
According to
Linking Words
 believe in society, people believe that footballers with
talent
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 are the best in the play.
For example
Linking Words
, Messi, the champion of FIFA 2022, great man who writes his story in the
football
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 industry. Because of his capability for assistance, goals and leadership, soccer fans define him as the best player in
football
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.
Additionally
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,
football
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 leagues have been seeking talented boys and girls all around the world, which proves that
talent
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 is the best in
football
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.
In contrast
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, some communities think that adapting
skills
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 is true success more than having talents.
Therefore
Linking Words
, It gives youth motivation that they can do it too, only if they try hard. The most suitable person
for example
Linking Words
 is Ronaldo, who has around more than 900 goals. His journey had many obstacles from a very young age despite being poor. Fans admire how he straightly practices.
For example
Linking Words
, he did many experiments to anticipate where the assistance ball would reach because he wanted to add a chance to score a goal. Practice makes perfect, the idiom proves learning
skills
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 are better than
talent
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. In my opinion, the latter point of view is more realistic than the former. Because of many experts who are evidence of mastering
skills
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 through hard work.
While
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 professionals who have talents are rare because being good at something does not mean they like it.
Such
Linking Words
 as all the crowd who can sing well do not become singers usually, few bodies choose to be singers. So my firm conviction is learning abilities are better than being a genius.
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a smoother flow between paragraphs. Try using cohesive devices and linking words to connect ideas more clearly.
Task Response
Make sure to fully develop both views with balanced examples and explanations. Elaborate more on why learned skills might be preferable or why talent could be significant.
Task Response
Clarify complex or ambiguous points to ensure the reader understands your perspective. Simplify complex sentences or break them into parts.
Task Response
The essay successfully introduces the topic and presents both perspectives clearly.
Task Response
Good attempt to support arguments with relevant examples such as Messi and Ronaldo, which adds value to the discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a clear conclusion that provides a personal opinion while summarizing the discussed points effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innate talent
  • Natural intuition
  • Adaptability
  • High-pressure situations
  • Physical attributes
  • Dedication
  • Work ethic
  • Tactics
  • Strategies
  • Rigorous training
  • Consistent performance
  • Impeccable technique
  • Mental resilience
  • Perseverance
  • Continuous improvement
  • Motivating environment
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