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Writing Samples
Band 8

With the rapid advancement of communication technology: smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices, some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#advancement #communication #technology #phones #tablets #devices #people
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There is a tremendously controversial perspective heating a debate over the exponential development of
telecommunication
. While
this
 statement is valid to some extent, I would contend that its disadvantages may overshadow its counterpart. Without a shadow of a doubt, the development of
telecommunication
 is beneficial for human life since it connects
people
 all over the
world
 in a matter of moment. For the time being, inhabitants can easily get in touch with their family members through their personal devices namely mobile phones or tablets.
Furthermore
, thanks to advanced technology
people
 can video chat with their intimate relatives via smartphones or laptops, which in the past it's impossible.
In particular
, parents at work can contact and control their children at home with smartphones or surveillance cameras. While the advantages of
telecommunication
 are widely acknowledged, it is would be unfair if we neglect its disadvantages. Since
people
 rely too much on mobile devices they will interact with the virtual
world
 and lose the ability to effectively interact with
people
 in the real
world
.
Additionally
, addiction and aggression might be the irreversible consequences when using new appealing applications and games.
For example
, youngsters addicted to videos games will be aggressive and lose their temper when their parents are strict with them and do not allow them to play. As a consequence when
people
 are interacting with the virtual
world
 more than the reality, they would affect numerous diseases
such
 as obesity, short-sightedness, and circulatory system diseases. In conclusion, while top-notch
telecommunication
 brings a wide range of benefits to human life, I believe that the downsides of contemporary technological development might be more significant than the benefits.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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