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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people feel that public money should not be spent on cultural amenities such as museums, theatres and art festivals. How important do you think these things are to society as a whole? Are there any areas which are more important for the government to fund?

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With the increased financial difficulties the majority of the governments face these days, some people assume that public money should not be spent on museums or other cultural facilities.
Although
,
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these amenities have an important role for every nation in some cases, there are other essential necessities
such
 as free
health
care
, better public education, etc. that the public savings can be spent on.
Firstly
, we must remember that some of these cultural amenities
such
 as traditional festivals, rituals and military parades are one of the best ways to resemble one's nation and traditions.
In addition
, by participating in these events or visiting museums, society is being educated about their own cultural norms, their nation's important historical events.
secondly
, these can
also
 be great tourist attractions.
For instance
, numerous people travel to different countries for the purpose of visiting their famous theatres or art galleries.
Furthermore
, increased tourist rates can have beneficial effects on society's financial aspects. Even though
,
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 cultural amenities play an important role in our lives, there are more essential areas that the government should be focusing on. Many countries have a poor public education system, which can have a direct negative impact on their growth and progression as a community.
Thus
, the improvement of public schools or other free educational facilities is one of the priority areas of state funding. The other essential area for the regime to fund is providing free
health
care
. Many citizens are dealing with mental or physical
health
 problems, not being able to afford a simple consultation or annual checkups.
Thus
, it is necessary for the government to put the public money into
health
care
 facilities. To conclude, theatres and art festivals have a great role in educating people about their history and can attract visitors improving tourist attractions, but, free
health
care
 and better education systems are more important for a society.
Submitted by varandngu on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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