I.Nowadays more and more people have to compete with young people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are some possible solutions?

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Nowadays, an increasing number of people have to compete with young people for the same
jobs
amid the ageing society that most developed countries are facing, which causes
job
loss in a senior age group and
job
refugees in a younger age group at the same time. To solve
this
problem, making new kinds of positions which are focused on supporting or educating fresh
workers
, and at the same time, proper advertisement for
job
distributions is effective in many workplaces. As the senior
workers
get older, most of them will lose their
jobs
except for a few who are promoted to higher positions if they did not try hard to cling to their accustomed
jobs
,
on the other hand
, younger generations suffer in getting a new
job
because they have to compete with the existing skilled
workers
and lose chances and motivations.
For example
, in
Japan
, there are too many dentists and dental clinics around the country, junior residents have to make lots of efforts to find
jobs
while
elder dentists whose treating skills are deteriorating keep treating patients to live on
this
job
, which is obviously hindering the quality of dentistry in
Japan
and the generational flow.
This
happens because there are not enough posts to hold
workers
,
therefore
, new posts should be established: the posts specialized in educating and training junior
workers
. On top of
this
, before young undergraduates start to seek
jobs
, giving them genuine data on
job
distribution in the nation and would-be promising
jobs
by governments will have a positive impact on various companies and
workers
in any generation.
For instance
, it is famous that
system
engineers from India are the most skilful in the world but not so many of them work in
Japan
, where there is an increasing demand for talented
system
engineers in most companies and
this
will be approached by the educator
system
to raise younger generations in
Japan
and advertisement of
job
offers to the world. In conclusion,
although
there are lots of
job
losers and
job
refugees
as a consequence
of severe
job
-achieving competition, these problems can be solved by the educator
system
for fresh
workers
and proper advertisement for
job
seekers in the future.
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task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully explores the second solution you have proposed (advertisement of job distribution). Provide more detail on how this might be implemented and its potential impact.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are generally clear, occasional awkward phrasing can hinder understanding. Try to simplify sentences where possible.
task achievement
You effectively identify and explain the problems resulting from job competition between age groups.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Unfulfilling job
  • Mental health
  • Physical health
  • Financial stability
  • Job security
  • Societal norms
  • Career choices
  • Pursuing passion
  • Practicality
  • Personal growth
  • Skill development
  • Self-esteem
  • Social status
  • Work-life balance
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