IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Health experts claim that walking is the best exercise. However, people are walking less on a daily basis. What has made it happen and how to deal with this?

#health #experts #exercise #people #basis
Health experts state that walking is the best
exercise
 for humans.
However
, over the
last
 decade,
people
 tend to neglect the
importance
 of it as they were exposed to the advancement of transport medium and sophisticated technology, which helps running errands easier with little effort of movement.
This
 essay will discuss how these two factors can make
people
 walk less on daily basis and how to overcome them. The modernization of transport and technology is indeed very helpful for humans, yet
this
also
 implicates that humans nowadays utilize it to the highest level and forgot the
importance
 of walking
exercise
.
Initially
,
people
 at least walk for a couple of distances while they are taking public transportation.
However
, nowadays, the rate of personal vehicle ownership is increasing along with the development of ride-hailing mobile applications where users can go from one point to another without hassle.
In addition
,
people
initially
 had the urge to go outside when they were about to run errands .
On the
contrary
Add a comma
,contrary
show examples
 nowadays, everything is being delivered through the door which in reflects
people
 is getting lazier more than ever, especially to walk. More and more
people
 are getting busy to keep up with the fast-paced world
hence
 they prefer the shortcut while not aware of the
importance
 of walking
exercise
. It is a complex challenge to deal with since the problem is to change
people
's behaviour.
Therefore
, the
first
 step is to spread the awareness of its
importance
. Once
people
 are already aware of the pros and cons, they will start taking the activity into consideration. The
next
 step after awareness is the availability of the use case. Sometimes
people
 don't do it because they don't have anything to do associated with walking.
Hence
, the individuals should make a room of their schedule dedicated to walking as an
exercise
. It is undeniable for us to live in a modern world
that is
 super fast-paced and easy.
However
, we need to balance
this
 with
exercise
 especially walking as our body
also
 needs movement to better function.
Submitted by miarosmia8 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: