Some say that professional success depends largely on obtaining a good education, while others contend that personal talent and drive are more significant. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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There is an ongoing debate about the key factors that contribute to
career
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success
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. Some argue that a high-quality
education
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provides the foundation for professional growth,
while
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others believe that personal motivation and abilities play a more significant role.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own viewpoint. On the one hand, a strong educational background offers several advantages in building a successful
career
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.
Firstly
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, formal
education
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equips
individuals
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with essential theoretical knowledge and practical
skills
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, which are crucial for problem-solving and decision-making in the workplace.
Additionally
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, universities often provide training in soft
skills
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such
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as leadership, teamwork, and communication, all of which are highly valued by employers.
Secondly
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, in today’s competitive job market, academic qualifications are often a prerequisite for securing prestigious positions. Many multinational corporations prioritize candidates with degrees from reputable institutions, as these credentials serve as an indicator of expertise and competence.
For instance
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, graduates from renowned universities often have better
career
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prospects and are more likely to be considered for managerial roles.
Thus
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, a high-quality
education
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can significantly enhance employability and professional growth.
On the other hand
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, some believe that intelligence, adaptability, and perseverance are the most critical factors in achieving
career
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success
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. One strong argument in
favor
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favour
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of
this
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view is that theoretical knowledge does not always translate into practical expertise. The dynamic nature of modern industries demands
individuals
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who can think critically, innovate, and adapt to unforeseen challenges.
For example
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, many successful entrepreneurs,
such
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as Steve Jobs and Elon Musk, did not rely solely on formal
education
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but rather on their creativity, problem-solving
skills
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, and relentless ambition.
Moreover
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, personal motivation often determines how effectively
individuals
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apply their knowledge and
skills
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in real-world scenarios.
While
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a degree can open doors to job opportunities, long-term
success
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depends on continuous self-improvement, resilience, and the ability to seize opportunities. Many employees with exceptional academic backgrounds fail to excel in their careers
due to
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a lack of initiative,
whereas
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highly driven
individuals
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with minimal formal
education
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often achieve remarkable
success
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through hard work and determination. In conclusion,
while
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education
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provides a solid foundation and enhances
career
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opportunities, it is personal motivation, adaptability, and perseverance that ultimately determine long-term
success
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. A degree may help
individuals
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enter the job market, but their ability to learn, innovate, and stay resilient in the face of challenges is what truly distinguishes them in their professional journey.
Therefore
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, a combination of both
education
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and personal attributes is the key to sustained
career
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growth.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure each point is explicitly discussed with clear transitions between ideas.
task achievement
Expand on examples with more specific details or statistics.
task achievement
Consider elaborating on personal attributes with specific contrasting examples to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view, discussing both sides of the argument effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Clear and organized structure, with a strong introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Variety of vocabulary and sentence structures used appropriately throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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