What distinguishes young people from their parents' or grandparents' generation is a lack of physical exercise. Today's generation are spending far too long playing computer games, chatting aimlessly on social networking sites or simply watching TV, and too little time being active. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #parents #grandparents #generation #lack #exercise #computer #games #sites #tv #time

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this

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day and age, many have an idea that working out is more popular in elderly populations compared to teenagers. Meanwhile, younger citizens are into social platforms. I agree to a certain extent,

however

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, there are some issues to consider. Both will be examined.

To begin

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with, it is undeniable that there are several positive aspects of staying online.

Firstly

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, these platforms can provide people to get everything in real-time. The reason for

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is that network delivers always inform news via it.

As a result

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, citizens might catch up with information clearly and suddenly.

Lastly

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, inhabitants could have logical thinking from using the internet.

For instance

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, a high school boy is a big fan of adventure games.

Then

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, he plays it as his leisure activity, and

finally

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, he has living skills that play an important role as a human being.

On the other hand

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, there are a host of negative sides to ignoring exercise.

First

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and foremost, populations would face diseases without difficulty.

Such

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as cancer, obesity, diabetes, and so on.

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is because they are less movement compared to calorie consumption. A

further

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detrimental aspect is lacking communication skills. The reason for

this

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is when the younger usually enjoy the virtual site,

then

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those might isolate themselves to their areas. Being harmful to the eyes is a final pain point of

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topic.

For example

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, watching Netflix is a cup of tea for a city girl.

Then

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, she watches it all the time, and

finally

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, she gets short-sighted. In conclusion, I personally agree that several entertainments are the main factor that leads adolescents to ignore movement activities.

Nevertheless

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, it will be better if governments can create campaigns which educate young groups to aware of its beneficial sides and drawbacks.

Submitted by OCCC on Mon Mar 07 2022

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15
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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