The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

Currently, overweight

people

in some countries are increased considerably which are the

problem

that government and citizen need to collaborate to solve

this

problem

. In order to solve the issue, most policies are to encourage more exercise in the community

such

as constructing a gym, park, swimming pool.

However

, I disagree that an increase in physical education classes will assist the crowd to have good shape and

health

This

essay will include my controversies to support my idea.

Firstly

, only exercise cannot make humans have an appropriate shape. According to research, playing sport affects weight reduction for only thirty

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

, at the rest, eating habits are the most effective way to reduce mass. The author should explain

this

information obviously that junk food and high-fat food must be avoided

such

as hamburgers, cheese, pizza.

Therefore

, providing the information and encouraging them to good consumption is more crucial than the physical education lessons in the school curriculum.

Secondly

, presently, the tread about real size beauty is coming which make

people

satisfy to have the chubby shape.

This

perspective causes the unchanged in lifestyle,

moreover

, most of them have

the

Correct article usage

show examples

sedentary lifestyle which reinforces the deterioration in the organism. Government should take care of

this

problem

by encouraging

people

to live in the appropriate direction.

Thus

, mindset and values are

also

important to deal with

health

issues. In conclusion, more physical education lessons are not the best way to solve the

health

problem

because the student will forget the concept after taking the examination. In my opinion, good consumption behaviour and thoughtfulness are the most efficient way. In prediction, many developed countries will try to adapt

people

's lifestyles

such

as building more walkways for more pedestrians. Citizens will have more movement for good

health

Submitted by kavinpob on Wed Mar 09 2022

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to illustrate this
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such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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