IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

There have been major advances in technology over recent decades and this has led to significant improvements in people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#advances #technology #decades #improvements #people’s #lives
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People
Use synonyms
 have different opinions over whether the development of
technology
Use synonyms
 in contemporary society has increased
a
Correct article usage
the
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 standard of living or not. Regarding
this
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, I strongly believe that
technology
Use synonyms
 has facilitated
people
Use synonyms
 to live a better life as it has influenced various industries
such
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 as education and healthcare. There are
cetrain
Correct your spelling
certain
 reasons.
Firstly
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,
people
Use synonyms
 have become healthier than before since medical
thechnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 has helped individuals deal with illnesses. By using various equipment
such
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 as sensitive apparatus and robots, doctors can do organ
tranplantation
Correct your spelling
transplantation
, thereby leading to
extended
Correct article usage
an extended
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 life span. What is more, the public
are
Change the verb form
is
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 able to manage minor health issues
such
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 as diabetes and hypertension by themselves by checking blood sugar rates and blood pressure with technological devices.
For example
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, a recent medical report would seem to suggest that almost 10% of lifespan has increased compared to 2 decades ago. As the example clearly illustrates,
technology
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 has played a key factor in improving
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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 lifestyle.
Secondly
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, the gap between the rich and the poor has decreased due to the chance
that is
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 provided
everyone
Change preposition
to everyone
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 justifiably. In the past, some students who lived in developing countries could not go to school as a lack of schools and transportation.
However
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, in
this
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 day and age, not only can the Internet contributes to
students
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students'
student's
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study
Wrong verb form
studying
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 remotely in other countries, but it may
also
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brings
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bring
show examples
 about better educational chance among disabled children.
For instance
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, a survey conducted by the Korea Educational Foundation has revealed that poor students have had more opportunities to make their future not to be worse.
Therefore
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, it is reasonable to say that
technology
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 has reduced the disparity between
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
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 group and
rich
Correct article usage
the rich
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 group. In conclusion, there is no doubt to point out that
techonolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
 has
increase
Change the verb form
increased
show examples
 the standard of living as
people
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has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 become
healtier
Correct your spelling
healthier
 and
knowledgeable
Correct quantifier usage
more knowledgeable
show examples
.
Submitted by hiasince38 on

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