IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #choices
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Some people advocate that our modern
life
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 caused too many
choices
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 and available
options
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. In my opinion,
Correct article usage
the numbers
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numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of our
choices
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depends
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depend
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 on different parameters including the place we live, economic level and many more factors,
although
Linking Words
dramatic
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the dramatic
a dramatic
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 increase
of
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in
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options
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 is undeniable. Generally,
choices
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 play a key role in everyone's
life
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. Some of these
choices
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 have short term
effect
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effects
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, while others influence our
life
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 permanently. Nowadays, with increasing technologies and expanding interpersonal connections, especially in developed countries, our
options
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 increased significantly. Marriage and opting job are two typical examples of
choice
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choices
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 that can construct or
ruine
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ruin
 our
prosperous
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prosperity
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 and happiness during our
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Correct your spelling
lifetime
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life time
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lifetime
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.
For instance
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, now people can date internationally and think to
marry
Wrong verb form
marrying
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 a person from a
further
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 continent with
completely
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a completely
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 different perspective of
life
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. Another obvious example in
this
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 regard is selecting
job
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a job
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. In previous
time
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times
show examples
, people had to continue their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 or opt
from
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for
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 a narrow list of jobs. At present time, not only former jobs are available, but
also
Linking Words
 a wide variety of jobs were added to that list, like being an online influencer or a financial advisor.
Linking Words
This
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These
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 changes
,
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apply
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 admittedly is capable
to
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of
show examples
 simply
confuse
Wrong verb form
confusing
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 a young person. In fact, the ability to know different feasible
options
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 and
comparing
Wrong verb form
compare
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 their merits and drawbacks cause making
Add an article
the decision
a decision
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decision
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decisions
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 to be harder than past. According to marriage psychologists, individuals who are connecting with
high
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a high
the high
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 number of persons have the highest rate of problems in selecting their permanent partner. In conclusion, I
concure
Correct your spelling
concur
 with
this
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 fact that modern
life
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 increased our
options
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 in different aspects of
life
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,
specially
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especially
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 in more developed countries.
Submitted by fateme.niknam on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
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