IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

People should look after their health because this is a duty to the society not just a personal benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #health #duty #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that maintaining good
health
Use synonyms
 is our own responsibility because it is fruitful to ourselves and it has many personal benefits.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion because
health
Use synonyms
 is wealth and will clarify my viewpoint in the forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with the benefits of having good
health
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a healthy person can do anything
such
Linking Words
 as travelling, driving, and some other works which are really crucial for living.
Moreover
Linking Words
, youngsters, middle-agers, and elders should take care of themselves carefully because it is their own responsibility and by ,fitness they can achieve their targets fastly without worrying about the life-threatening diseases.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey report was conducted that pupils get healthier in rural areas as compared to modern cities.
Consequently
Linking Words
, humans should protect themselves on their own. Moving
further
Linking Words
 to the other side that government should organise more and more awareness campaigns for providing adequate knowledge to individuals about the importance of a healthy living.
For example
Linking Words
, high authorities should take
such
Linking Words
 steps to reduce the pollution and population in every part of the country. In my opinion, I reckon that by becoming fit, masses can achieve anything in their life and they should take healthy meals in their diets
such
Linking Words
 as green vegetables, high protein products, and milk. These things play a major role to mention a healthy and fit body. In conclusion, in my opinion, I strongly agree with the aforementioned notion because
health
Use synonyms
 is wealth and it is only our own responsibility to keep fit and stay healthy.
Submitted by ankeshsaini100 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • duty
  • well-being
  • burden
  • healthcare systems
  • productive
  • economy
  • example
  • empower
  • informed choices
What to do next:
Look at other essays: