IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person?

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Studies of scholars suggest that many young
adults
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 nowadays prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. It is because they are living in the 21st century, where everyone is done by phone, and it is faster than face-to-face meetings. To solve these problems, parents should organize physical or
group
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activities
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 for their children. First and foremost, many teenagers use their phones to talk with someone because nowadays we have good technologies to meet them online and they want to do everything quickly. It means that children use their phones to call someone when both of them are located in different positions.
For instance
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, in the film Call, two
adults
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 should meet each other but
due to
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 distance, they cannot do that.
However
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, after finding a phone to call, they achieved their goal.
Moreover
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, to change the online meeting to offline, young
adults
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 should do some
group
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activities
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 because it helps to increase the received time to meet someone face to face.
This
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 is because
group
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activities
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 require communication with others and good relationships with them. The prime example of
this
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 is football between friends.
This
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 type of activity requires two or more people in one place to play it, and it significantly improves relationships between teenagers. In conclusion, after having weighed everything mentioned , it can be said that the usage of phones by
adults
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 is caused by their mindset and today's standard,
although
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 it can be easily solved by
group
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activities
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 which require face-to-face meetings.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details are logically ordered. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Try to further develop your ideas with more detailed explanations and examples. This would help in making your response more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize the main points.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as the film 'Call' and football, are used to support the main ideas.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses both parts of the task, explaining why teenagers prefer online interaction and suggesting measures to encourage face-to-face meetings.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • socialization
  • curate
  • engaging
  • social anxiety
  • digital detox
  • tech-free zones
  • mentorship programs
  • real-world interactions
  • face-to-face settings
  • in-person participation
  • promote
  • deter
  • foster
  • appeal
  • perspectives
  • detox challenges
  • community service
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