IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You should spend about 40 mins. Write about the following topic: Some educationalists think that international exchange visits will benefit teenagers at school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#mins #topic #educationalists #exchange #visits #benefit #teenagers #school
It is believed by many educational experts that young students gain a lot of benefits from going on visits to different countries. While exchange programmes may have a few
disadvantages
, I believe the advantages far outweigh the
disadvantages
. On the one hand, there are some
disadvantages
 for teenagers to visit other foreign nations.
For example
, young visitors are likely to experience loneliness and homesickness during the trip provided that it is their very
first
 time going abroad without their family members.
Also
, they may have to overcome cultural shock which is common to rookie travellers.
In addition
, it may take young students some time to get out of their comfort zone, adapt to the new environment and start socialising with their host families. Despite the
disadvantages
 mentioned, I do believe visiting other foreign nations brings far more benefits to youngsters for three reasons.
Firstly
, those programmes enable teenagers to broaden their horizons as they have a chance to expand their networks with other young people from various backgrounds.
Secondly
, they are provided with opportunities to learn how
differently
Replace the word
different
show examples
 people in a different country live, behave, eat, and think, which in turn helps them to be more open-minded and less biased.
Thirdly
, as they have to interact with their peers who come from different cultural backgrounds, they learn how to communicate better with mutual respect, which is a crucial skill for them to prosper in the future. In conclusion, even though young teenagers may come across some challenges during their international visits, there are more benefits they will gain from the trips as they can create new connections and develop as a person after overcoming the problems and going beyond the cultural norms.
Submitted by sirenaphyo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: