Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Education
is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
essential
elements
Fix the agreement mistake
element
show examples
in human life since it is beneficial for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. In our
society
,
education
is like
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
foundation of
individual
Correct article usage
an individual
show examples
professional career.
Moreover
, there are several arguments in
society
about the truest objectives of
educaion
Correct your spelling
education
. Some
people
thought that the main goal of
education
is to make someone who can contribute to
society
, whereas others admit that it should support
people
to attain their aspirations. From my perspective, both
opinion
Change to a plural noun
opinions
show examples
is right, yet
it’s
Replace the word
its
show examples
function depends on the basic motivation of someone to get an
education
.
To begin
with,
education
is the best place to learn how to build up
Add an article
a relationship
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
with others. When we study at school, we are forced to cooperate with others. It is because school is the place where
people
from different
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
come and involve. When we learn to adapt
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
environment, we
also
learn to adapt
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
our
society
.
For instance
, when I was a student, I did not only learn something from my teacher but
also
from my friends. It was because I prefer to make
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
with individuals who
from
Add a missing verb
are from
show examples
different
backround
Correct your spelling
background
backgrounds
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
me.
As a result
, it is not difficult for me to involve in
society
.
Furthermore
,
education
is like an instrument that can facilitate us to achieve our ambitions.
Education
is crucial to
reach
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
a goal. I think without
education
we are nothing.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
we have
purpose
Add an article
a purpose
show examples
in life, we will never reach it out without
education
.
For example
, nowadays, most
people
want to have a great professional career. Definitely, to reach
this
goal, they must have a strong
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
background. To conclude, I acknowledge that
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
two
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
of view
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
right.
It
Add a verb
isIt
wasIt
show examples
beneficial to help us to connect with our
society
. It
also
support
Change the verb form
supports
show examples
us to achieve our goal.
Therefore
, no matter what kind of our goal we have and how much our purpose
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
,
education
is still take a huge role in making it happen.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: