Some people think that traditional culture can be destroyed as money-making attractions to tourists. However, others believe that it is the only way to save traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #culture #attractions #tourists #traditions

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There is a heated debate that has been sparked all over the world. Some believe that the action that has

done

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been done

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to get

tourist's

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tourists'

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attraction can

destory

Correct your spelling

destroy

the traditional

cullture

Correct your spelling

culture

of the country.

On the other hand

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, it is argued that

this

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method is the key to

save

Wrong verb form

saving

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traditions too.

This

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essay will discuss both

idea

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ideas

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including my perspective.

First

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of all, as the advancement of technology is increasing day by day, it is

Change the word

apply

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easier to travel around the world despite the time or

culture

Replace the word

cultural

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differences.

In addition

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, the number of people who would like to make money with tourist

visiters

Correct your spelling

visitors

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raise rather than before.

Besides

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, The majority of people are focusing on getting money and

unware

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are unware

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of destroying culture.

For example

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, thousands of ancient pagodas and historical buildings in Bagan, Myanmar are being wrecked by money-maker. In order to get tourist

attraction

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attractions

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, some of them are replaced with modern buildings and theme parks.

In contrast

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, it is suggested that it is the only way to save culture from being disappeared.

This

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is because if people are not making

renovation

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renovations

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for old buildings and other traditional things, they are more likely to

collaspe

Correct your spelling

collapse

by the damage of natural disasters. What is more, by doing

this

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action, tourists will be more interested in our cultures as well as getting more dollars.

Therefore

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, it can be a win-win situation. To sum up, from my point of view, activities to persuade tourists can destroy cultures and it is not the only way to save since there are many effective ways to keep our tradition without negative effects.

Submitted by tthoon21 on Thu Mar 17 2022

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Some people rely too much on doctors instead of taking care of their own health. They think all health problems can just by ‘fixed’ by visiting doctors. What problems could this approach to healthcare cause and how might they be solved?

Some countries allow old people to work to any age that they want. Do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

It is becoming increasingly popular for people to tourist destinations during public holidays. What problems does this causes? What solutions are these to this problems.