Some people think that traditional culture can be destroyed as money-making attractions to tourists. However, others believe that it is the only way to save traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #culture #attractions #tourists #traditions

There is a heated debate that has been sparked all over the world. Some believe that the action that has

done

Add a missing verb

been done

show examples

to get

tourist's

Fix the agreement mistake

tourists'

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attraction can

destory

Correct your spelling

destroy

the traditional

cullture

Correct your spelling

culture

of the country.

On the other hand

, it is argued that

this

method is the key to

save

Wrong verb form

saving

show examples

traditions too.

This

essay will discuss both

idea

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ideas

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including my perspective.

First

of all, as the advancement of technology is increasing day by day, it is

Change the word

apply

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easier to travel around the world despite the time or

culture

Replace the word

cultural

show examples

differences.

In addition

, the number of people who would like to make money with tourist

visiters

Correct your spelling

visitors

show examples

raise rather than before.

Besides

, The majority of people are focusing on getting money and

unware

Add a missing verb

are unware

show examples

of destroying culture.

For example

, thousands of ancient pagodas and historical buildings in Bagan, Myanmar are being wrecked by money-maker. In order to get tourist

attraction

Fix the agreement mistake

attractions

show examples

, some of them are replaced with modern buildings and theme parks.

In contrast

, it is suggested that it is the only way to save culture from being disappeared.

This

is because if people are not making

renovation

Fix the agreement mistake

renovations

show examples

for old buildings and other traditional things, they are more likely to

collaspe

Correct your spelling

collapse

by the damage of natural disasters. What is more, by doing

this

action, tourists will be more interested in our cultures as well as getting more dollars.

Therefore

, it can be a win-win situation. To sum up, from my point of view, activities to persuade tourists can destroy cultures and it is not the only way to save since there are many effective ways to keep our tradition without negative effects.

Submitted by tthoon21 on Thu Mar 17 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that traditional culture can be destroyed as money-making attractions to tourists. However, others believe that it is the only way to save traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The gap between the rich and the poor is becoming wider; the rich are becoming richer and the poor are even getting poorer. What problems can the situation cause? What can be done to reduce this gap?

Some people believe that the activities of large multinational corporations mostly benefit the economies of developing countries. Other people take the opposite view and feel that these large multinationals are generally harmful. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Some people think that the school children need to learn practical skills such as car maintenance or bank account management along with academic subjects at a school. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

The government should sometimes infringe on people's freedom for the security of society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that more money should be spent on protecting endangered species,while others believe that it is waste of money. What is your opinion?