IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food or use animal products, for instance, clothing and medicines. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#world #animals #food #products #medicines
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These days, with growing awareness of protecting
animals
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, some
people
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 suggest that it is not appropriate to eat
animals
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 or consider them as a way of consumption. I am afraid that I can not agree with
this
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 opinion since some
people
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 have no choice whether to eat
animals
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 or not and it is just a jungle rule in the world.
People
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 who live in remote areas which not suitable to develop agriculture or industry, like mountains, are not capable of abandoning hunting as the primary access to meet ends.
For example
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, a village, Liuzhou, famous for its Gog meat Festival, was accused by some eco-friendly institutions of killers.
This
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 tradition formed because of the soil condition
people
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 can not cultivate crops.
Although
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 technologies are innovated every minute, it does not help the lack of public transportation.
Therefore
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, some places have similar geographical features to
this
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 town, and it is unfair to ask those
people
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 to get up their only source of financial support. Another reason is that being overly politically correct to protect
animals
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 is a way to prevent technology from developing, particularly in the medical area. Many famous medicines are extracted from
animals
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' bodies since
animals
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' DNA, and physical traces are more similar to humans than plants, making some experiments have to
use
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animals
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 as objects and
use
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 some parts of
animals
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 as medicines. To cite an example, scientists continue to try to
use
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 pigs' hearts to take the place of some
people
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's hearts that can not work. Whether the experiment is successful or not,
people
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 need those pigs as medicines or to find some
animals
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, like monkeys, to take place. Overall, even though
people
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 should protect
animals
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, some
people
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 need to eat
animals
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 or sell their prey to survive, as well as some fields that need
animals
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 for experiments.
Therefore
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, it is clear that the eating of
animals
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 and the
use
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 of animal products will not be banned in the future.
Submitted by baozilyn on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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