Some people think that governments should do more to make their citizens eat a healthy diet. Others believe that individuals must take responsibility for their own diet and health. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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People

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have different views about whether the authorities should take

further

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actions to persuade their individuals to have healthier diets or whether

people

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should be in charge of their own

diet

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and health.

While

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some believe citizens should take responsibility for

this

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issue, I consider that

governments

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need to conduct more activities. On the one hand, it is generally acknowledged that

people

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should be careful about their health and try to have a proper

diet

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People

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's tastes and attitudes are different from each other,

that is

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why every individual should watch out for his own

diet

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carefully.

In addition

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, it is self-evident that

governments

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are not able to control every single individual to have a healthy lifestyle. So it is rational that each person tries to check what is beneficial for his own health and what is not.

For instance

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, the ones who suffer from chronic diseases need to have special meals in order not to worsen their sickness.

On the other hand

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, it is advisable that

governments

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must prepare some adverts about healthy

diet

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and try to make it a

people

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's culture. The more advertisements are produced about having a healthy food diversity, the more

people

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will be aware of unhealthy aspects of their

diet

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Moreover

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, changing lifestyle is a huge plan which is a long-term program and needs everybody's special attention. Every humble step could be helpful in

this

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regard. A point of view is some TV adverts about the fast food drawbacks which encourage

people

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to cut down on these kinds of meals. In conclusion,

although

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several

people

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agree that

people

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must be careful about their own

diet

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, I am of the opinion that both individuals and

governments

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should take additional actions to reduce the amount of unhealthy food in citizens' diets.

keyhan454Tue Mar 12 2024

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Task Response

To improve Task Response, ensure to fully develop your opinion throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion. Integrate your stance in the discussion of both views more explicitly, providing stronger arguments for why you believe in the necessity of government intervention alongside individual responsibility.

Coherence and Cohesion

To enhance Coherence and Cohesion, aim for smoother transitions between paragraphs and within them. Phrases such as 'On the one hand,' and 'On the other hand,' structure your argument well, but vary your transitional language for a more sophisticated flow. Additionally, cohesive devices could be more varied to link ideas more naturally.

Task Response

To further improve the essay, include more relevant examples to support your points. Specific examples strengthen your arguments by providing concrete evidence. Consider incorporating real-life initiatives by governments to promote healthy diets, or statistics that highlight the impact of government-led health campaigns.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Some people think that governments should do more to make their citizens eat a healthy diet. Others believe that individuals must take responsibility for their own diet and health. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is the most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?