Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages.

#technology #people #cell #phone #security #cameras #cases #development

Nowadays,

technology

has been significantly developed to serve the

people

more conveniently and

Change preposition

in comfort

show examples

comfort

Replace the word

comfortably

show examples

However

, the consequence of advanced

technology

is that it is being used to track

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

. In my opinion, I believe that the advantage overcomes the disadvantage.

To begin

with,

technology

has played an important role in our lives. Most

people

rely on it for various reasons,

such

as working and travelling.

However

, when it is being used to monitor

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

, It’s necessary to draw a line between

privacy

and safety. In my point of view, tracking

people

in public or in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

personal area is acceptable,

for example

, using a security

camera

can prevent the criminal. According to the survey conducted in Thailand, the burglar will most likely choose to rob the house without a security

camera

rather than the one with a

camera

This

is because their face will be captured by a

camera

. As a consequence, the police can easily track the thief and arrest them.

On the other hand

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology

must respect

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

privacy

. I believe that no one should be tracked when they’re not in public.

For instance

, surfing

Correct article usage

the

show examples

internet should not be tracked by any authority. There should be

Remove the article

apply

show examples

privacy

as long as you’re not causing any harm to the public.

Furthermore

, The information

that is

from tracking a person has been used for

various

Add an article

the various

a various

show examples

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

without our consent,

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

our browsing history. It is being used to adjust an advertisement to make it most related so that there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

chance

Fix the agreement mistake

chances

show examples

the product can be sold. In conclusion, there has to be a line between

privacy

and safety. The information should not be acquired without

Remove the article

apply

show examples

consent.

Submitted by btno on Thu Apr 07 2022

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

1. Surveillance
2. Monitoring
3. Cell phone tracking
4. Security cameras
5. Public safety
6. Law enforcement
7. Privacy concerns
8. Personal freedom
9. Autonomous
10. Breach of trust
11. Misuse of information
12. Institutional integrity
13. Psychological impact
14. Mental well-being
15. Societal trust
16. Paranoia
17. Transparency
18. Stringent regulations
19. Criminal deterrence
20. Apprehension of criminals

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays, more and more people ffrom different cities are spending more time away from their families. What are the possible reasons and effects on the people themselves and their families.

In some nations ,they have the option to import food fr all around the glob. To what extent do you think its benefits outweigh the drawbacks?

The restoration of old buildings in major cities around the world costs enormous amounts of money. This money would be better spent on providing new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The responsibility of preventing and reducing global environmental damage lies in the hands of politicians and individuals have little impact. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the increasing use of computer and mobile phones nowadays has unwanted effects on the young people reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree