Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To What extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

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The current generation of famous personalities

are

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known more for their attractive lifestyle and less for

hardwork

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hard work

which I believe is misleading the youngsters. I will explain in

this

Linking Words

essay how the focus on

extravagant

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the extravagant

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lifestyle of a celebrity

instead

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of focusing on their work can leave a wrong impression on the youth.

Firstly

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, the living style

adapted

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adopted

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by the

well known

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well-known

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people

Use synonyms

sets unrealistic goals and standards for an average person.

Moreover

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, the importance is given to the looks and style of clothes rather than the

succesful

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successful

art which

also

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results in

people

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spending unnecessary money on expensive beauty and health products. The youngsters try to look like these stars by using overpriced materialistic things and

hence

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Replace the word

lose

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loose

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lose

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their focus on studies and their

career

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careers

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. There are multiple online websites that

sells

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sell

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the exact clothes used by

the

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apply

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celebrities

with

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an astonishing price range. With

such

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standards

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,standards

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a young person gets influenced easily and

lead

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leads

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a misguided life.

Secondly

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, the overshow of the luxurious way of life of a famous personality leads the

people

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beleive

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believe

that the

hardwork

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hard work

is the least

imprortant

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important

part of their success. Their talent and artistic work

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are

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overshadowed by their media presence. As we all know,

the

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apply

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social media has been an intimate medium to get

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apply

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access to a celebrities life which is

mostly

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most

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deceiving.

Although

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, the purpose of these stars is to motivate

people

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but

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apply

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they end up leaving a bad example of putting the glam above the job. In conclusion, I fully agree that by putting the excess expenditure of money and a luxurious lifestyle as the centre of attention, the famous

people

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are misguiding our present youth.

Submitted by suganshekar on Mon Apr 11 2022

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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