IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Writing Task 1 You bought milk in a shop and it was • it was expired • it went sour • unsatisfactory customer service Write a letter to shop manager. In your letter • introducing your reason for writing • what went wrong • what you would like to happen

#milk #shop #customer #service #manager #reason
Dear Sir or Madam, Today is my birthday, so I want to invite my friends and my classmates. That's why I have to go shopping and buy a carton of
milk
. I want to make a cake and I need some
milk
. I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the expired
milk
 that I bought in your shop called "Afrosiyob". I went to your supermarket with the intention of purchasing
milk
 and I bought a carton of
milk
. Before, I looked at the production date of the
milk
 and there shown as valid.
Then
 I went home and opened it, it smelled extremely terrible.
Also
,
milk
 went sour and it tasted so bad, it was tasteless. I wasn't satisfied. An unpleasant taste stayed in my mouth.
In addition
 to
this
, I wasn't satisfied with your customer service. Because your staffs treat the customers poorly and they are rude. When I asked something, the staff pretended not to hear. I asked one of the employees for help but he showed no interest in helping me. When I asked him which
milk
 was available, he couldn't answer. I regret to have been in your market and I will never step feet to your shop. You should know how poorly your staffs treat your clients. I am hoping you handle all complaints promptly. I wish you would take the initiative to hire more professional employees. I would appreciate it if you would look into
this
 matter. I would be grateful if you could give me a full refund. Yours sincerely, Eshmamatova Lola
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task response
Your letter effectively addresses all parts of the task, clearly explaining the issue with the expired milk, your dissatisfaction with the customer service, and what you would like to happen. However, there is room for improvement in the structured presentation of the issue. Consider linking the problems with more cohesive transitional phrases.
coherence cohesion
To enhance logical structure, ensure that each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next. For example, linking your dissatisfaction with the milk to your experience with customer service can provide better flow.
task response
Maintaining a polite and formal tone throughout is crucial in formal letters. Although mostly polite, the phrase "I regret to have been in your market and I will never step feet to your shop" could be rephrased to maintain a more professional tone.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriate and formal, which suits the nature of the letter.
task response
You succinctly introduced the reason for writing, which sets a clear context for the reader.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

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