IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

shopping was a retained domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extended do you think it is a positive trend

it is argued that in the earlier years, individuals like to do shopping as a regular work, while these days,
people
Use synonyms
 buy
products
Use synonyms
 because of their passion and hobby. I firmly believe that it is a positive trend
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the reason that it provides happiness to the
masses
Use synonyms
 as well as fruitful for physical health To commence with, shopping provides a kind of entertainment to the humans that are shopalchocalic.nowadays, most youngsters, children and elders like to buy new clothes,
products
Use synonyms
 and gadgets because they want to look fashionable.
Although
Linking Words
 sometimes
people
Use synonyms
 waste a plethora of money while purchasing trendy things, it makes them confident.
Moreover
Linking Words
, shopping gives new energy to the public as they feel fresh after buying new things whereas in the past mankind buy stuff as their job and it did not provide enough happiness to them.to cite an example, a survey was conducted in 2019, in Malaysia which showed that 75% of
people
Use synonyms
 like to do the shopping because they have a hobby to buy the latest
products
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it is vividly clear that purchasing new items provides satisfaction to the
masses
Use synonyms
, mostly to the youth.
in addition
Linking Words
, a healthy lifestyle
also
Linking Words
 improves with the help of shopping. To elucidate it, while buying
products
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 walk from one place to another which is a physical activity and due to sedentary lifestyles
masses
Use synonyms
 do not have enough time to do much for their bodies. Purchasing new goods not only assists the public physically but
also
Linking Words
 impacts
people
Use synonyms
 psychologically as shopping works as a stressbuster. If
people
Use synonyms
 walk more for selecting goods, they feel energetic and reduce wait as well.
For instance
Linking Words
, an article was recently published on a fitness website, in which it is noticed that the individuals who walk and carry their shopping bags can reduce up to 365 calories in a week. Shopping helps
people
Use synonyms
 to keep themselves fit in conclusion, it is an undeniable fact that these days, the
masses
Use synonyms
 take shopping as their hobby and they buy
products
Use synonyms
 for their happiness and satisfaction.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, most of the
masses
Use synonyms
 buy items because they get an opportunity to walk more and keep themselves fit.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • retail therapy
  • materialism
  • disposable income
  • economic growth
  • financial instability
  • environmental impact
  • social interaction
  • community building
  • emotional satisfaction
  • advertising influence
  • shopping habits
What to do next:
Look at other essays: