Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extent do you agree?

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Introduction

It is generally agreed that students do not have enough knowledge about the professional world.

Consequently

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, many argue that schools should implement work practice alongside

pupil’s

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pupils’

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general education. In my opinion, early exposure to the workplace is highly beneficial for a teenager’s future.

Body paragraph 1

First and foremost, work experience has become one of the most crucial requirements for building a successful career. Generally, employers seek individuals who are familiar with job responsibilities and capable of handling complex tasks.

For instance

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, if a high schooler completes an internship at a local business, they develop important skills

such

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as problem-solving, time management, and adaptability.

As a result

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, when entering the professional world, these practical abilities will distinguish them from peers who possess only academic knowledge.

Body paragraph 2

Secondly

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, exposure to different fields guides individuals when choosing a career path.

While

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working, people not only discover numerous job possibilities but

also

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understand the pros and cons each one carries.

Therefore

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, these experiences help them find the most appealing profession.

For example

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, a teenager who engaged in diverse workplaces throughout their school studies will be able to clarify their personal goals and choose the most fitting major for university.

Moreover

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, by identifying the right

career

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they will save a significant amount of time and resources.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I completely agree with the opinion that students should gain work experience through practice.

This

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is because of its beneficial effects,

such

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as gaining professional experience and valuable skills, which will make them competent for the future workplace. Given these reasons, it is recommended that schools around the world should consider including

this

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form of education.

acaitaz

Nov 11, 2024

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Task response

Your view is clear: you agree that students should work for a short time while studying. To make the answer even stronger, say more clearly that this work should be short, safe, and linked to school learning.

Task response

Your two main ideas are useful: work builds skills and helps students choose a job path. Add one small point about a possible problem, such as less study time, and explain why schools can manage it.

Task response

Your examples fit the ideas, but they are quite general. Give one more clear detail, such as the tasks a student may do in a shop, office, or hospital.

Coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear order: opening, two main parts, and ending. Keep this plan in future essays.

Coherence and cohesion

The links between ideas are clear, but some words like “Generally”, “Therefore”, and “For example” are used often. Use simple links only when they show a real link between the two sentences.

Coherence and cohesion

Some sentences are long. Split a few of them into two shorter sentences so that the main idea is easier to follow.

Coherence and cohesion

Use the same word form when you can. For example, choose either “students” or “teenagers” as the main word in a paragraph, unless you need a change.

Task response

You answer the question directly and keep your own view from the opening to the ending.

Task response

The reasons are on topic and show why work time can help young people in later life.

Coherence and cohesion

Each main paragraph starts with a clear idea and then gives an explanation and an example.

Coherence and cohesion

The ending brings the main ideas together and clearly restates your view.

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11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extent do you agree?

Developing countries should be encouraged to implement high tariffs to grow their local industries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more young people are watching real-life violence due to the growth of online videos on social networks. This could cause societal problems in the future. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.

Genetic engineering is an important issue in society today. Some people think that it will improve people’s lives in many ways. Others feel that it may be a threat to life on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Write a letter to the hotel manager to inform, you are coming with a group of people to have a business meeting at his hotel. - Introduce yourself and the group. - Tell about the business meeting. - Inform if accommodation is necessary.

We have become a throw-away society, preferring to buy new products rather than reparing the existing items. What do you think are the reasons? How can this trend be reversed?