Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some human beings claim that competitive thoughts should be promoted, while others claim that collaboration should be taught in order to become a useful adult. There have some advantages and disadvantages between both. I would like to make some comparisons and discuss both sites,
also
point out my personal perspective in the following essay. Nowadays competitive ability became vital in our workplace, while some
people
think that it should be encouraged in
children
's education. As
people
believe that it might be useful when they grow up.
For example
, job hunting is a competitive circumstance,
people
pay their efforts to get a good offer, which requires some competitive abilities and turns it into motivation. Meanwhile, it is common to have competition in the work field, similar industry companies will compare each other, and employees would tend to beat other companies.
Therefore
, considering
of
Change preposition
apply
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being a useful adult, competitive thoughts should be promoted for the youngest generations. Despite that competition have to be encouraged by some
people
, there are a group of
people
who think that co-operation should be taught more importantly.
For instance
, the collaborative ability seems to be a crucial part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. As we could see that many companies need their colleagues should be able to share their opinions and discuss in a group. Meanwhile, decrease the workloads and increase their productivity. These theses represent that cooperation plays an important role in the work field,
hence
,
children
should have been taught to be cooperative when they were young. In conclusion, both sites which,
children
should be taught to compete or co-operative, are equally important, there are some advantages and drawbacks to each site. From my point of view, I would encourage that
children
should be taught to co-operate as opposed to teach of
being compete
Change the verb form
competing
show examples
.
Submitted by 96quintin on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
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