In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

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We witnessed that, so many massive changes had happened in agriculture and made
this
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field so advanced, especially these days.
However
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, we cannot deny that a
lot
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of individuals around the world are struggling to find food for themselves and their families.
This
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essay believes that
,
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apply
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this
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issue is
due to
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the irresponsibility of some
governments
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, and suggests
unions
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consider more supplies for those poor
people
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.
To begin
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with, some poor nations have a corrupted system, by that I mean their governers do a
lot
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of terrible things and steal from their own
people
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so that they become richer,
also
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, they gain a
lot
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of profit by just having poor
citizens
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, like, draw attentions from other wealthy countries for help. The money which they give to them will directly go to their accounts not to their
citizens
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.
Furthermore
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, some of their
governments
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do not have any experience or a degree of education.
For example
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, so many Africans have died because of a lack of food and clean water all because their
governments
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decided to ignore those
people
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who are in need and just focus on things that are beneficial to them.
Although
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I have
this
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belief that
this
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issue can be tackled by
unions
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, like The World Food Programme. These
unions
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can provide some investigators who can go to those countries and gather information about how many men, women, and children are starving and what reasons are behind that;
moreover
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, they can create a complaint against their
governments
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to The International Criminal Court so that their
citizens
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be free from them.
To sum up
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, as I mentioned in
this
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essay, some
people
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who work in the
governments
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are so irresponsible and do not care about their
people
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which is why they have a
lot
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of hungry
citizens
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. Despite the fact that the farming industry is getting better every day, it is not tackling
their
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its
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problem,and
unions
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must take action against
this
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issue.
Submitted by abbasisarina340 on

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument, maintaining focus on the question throughout. To further improve, ensure each paragraph fully develops a single main idea with more specific examples and explanations.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a good overall structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. For enhancement, work on linking ideas more smoothly between sentences and paragraphs to improve flow.
Coherence & Cohesion
Diversify your sentence structures to add complexity and fluency to your writing. This will also help in improving coherence and making the argument more persuasive.
Task Achievement
Although your examples are relevant, aim for a variety of detailed examples. Including statistics, studies, or real-world cases can make your argument stronger and more convincing.
Introduction & Conclusion
Effectively introduced and concluded the essay, creating a full-circle understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Presented a clear stance on the topic, which was maintained throughout the essay, showing good task achievement.
Logical Structure
Organized ideas logically, making it easier to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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