IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Charging
people
Use synonyms
 when they enter a public place is a great source of income for the government.
Though
Correct word choice
Although
show examples
 some
museums
Use synonyms
 have been issuing the public an entrance fee while many others are free of
charge
Use synonyms
. So,
this
Linking Words
 has been always a subject of debate whether letting
people
Use synonyms
 visit
museums
Use synonyms
 for free, or for a fee. Those
museums
Use synonyms
 that
charge
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 have brought some benefits to the government. They are a great source of income. Though we can see that some of
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
 account for a noticeable proportion of the GDP.
In addition
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
museums
Use synonyms
 can preserve their collection of statues and artefacts, while having few
visitors
Use synonyms
, because, more
visitors
Use synonyms
 mean more danger to
such
Linking Words
 valuable stuff.
For instance
Linking Words
, certain
museums
Use synonyms
 have not been open to the public and were only open to researchers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some significant disadvantages to
museums
Use synonyms
 that have put a fee for their
visitors
Use synonyms
. They usually attract fewer
visitors
Use synonyms
 compared to the other
museums
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, attracting no
visitors
Use synonyms
 means they have failed in their task, because,
museums
Use synonyms
 tend to have
visitors
Use synonyms
 in order to conduct information to the public.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, free of
charge
Use synonyms
museums
Use synonyms
 have the advantage of widely educating
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, guides who work at
museums
Use synonyms
 can be great instructors for
visitors
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 certain
museums
Use synonyms
 that
charge
Use synonyms
 for admission are a great source of income for governments, they have failed in their task that was attracting
visitors
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, all
museums
Use synonyms
 must have a public area for
people
Use synonyms
 to visit without paying for admission, while charging
people
Use synonyms
 for having a visit to their important artefacts.
However
Linking Words
, it's not applicable to all
museums
Use synonyms
, but I'm sure more
museums
Use synonyms
 will be thinking more deeply about
this
Linking Words
 in the near future.
Submitted by amirreza.alise on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: