“In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?”

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In the contemporary world of commerce, an increasing number of enterprises accentuate the novelty of their offerings in promotional campaigns.
This
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essay will explore the underlying reasons behind
this
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trend, and
subsequently
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examine both the advantageous and detrimental implications it has on society. The primary motivation for businesses to highlight the innovative aspects of their products can be attributed to the fierce competition that pervades the global market. As consumers are consistently bombarded with a plethora of choices, companies strive to stand out by touting the uniqueness of their goods. By doing so, they aim to capture the attention of potential customers and stimulate their desire for ownership, ultimately driving sales and profits. One notable example of a positive outcome resulting from
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marketing approach is the iPhone X. With its groundbreaking facial recognition technology,
this
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device offered a significant improvement in terms of user security and convenience. By magnifying
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state-of-the-art feature in their advertisements, Apple managed not only to generate immense consumer interest but
also
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to encourage other tech companies to invest in similar advancements.
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,
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competition has led to the rapid development of secure and user-friendly mobile devices.
On the other hand
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, there are instances where the emphasis on novelty has had deleterious effects on society.
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, the fast-fashion industry, exemplified by H&M, frequently promotes new clothing collections and seasonal trends.
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tactic encourages a culture of disposability and overconsumption, as individuals feel compelled to update their wardrobes constantly.
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, not only does
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contribute to environmental problems,
such
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as increased textile waste and pollution, but it
also
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perpetuates unethical
labor
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labour
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practices in low-wage countries, where the demand for cheap and quickly produced clothing is met. In summary, the tendency for businesses to underscore the original characteristics of their products in advertisements is primarily driven by the need to stand out in a competitive market.
While
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this
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approach can lead to beneficial outcomes,
such
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as the advancement of technology in the case of the iPhone X, it can
also
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have adverse effects, as evidenced by the environmental and ethical issues associated with fast-fashion companies like H&M. It is,
therefore
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, crucial for both consumers and businesses to examine
this
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marketing strategy with a critical eye, carefully weighing its potential ramifications.

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion that outlines your main points. However, consider refining your concluding sentences to directly restate your view on whether this trend is overall positive or negative.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong, and each paragraph flows well from one idea to the next. Try to use more cohesive devices (like 'moreover' or 'however') to enhance coherence further.
Task Achievement
You've provided relevant examples that support your points. To strengthen your arguments, consider adding more specific details or statistics, especially in the second body paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a sophisticated vocabulary and varied sentence structures, which contribute to the overall quality of your writing.
Task Achievement
The examples you chose (iPhone X and fast fashion) effectively illustrate the points you are making, making your argument compelling.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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