Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to young children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
A number of people advocate that volunteering should be
a
mandatory in Change the article
apply
educational
Add an article
an educational
the educational
institution
. I consider that it educate to some characteristics and can change peoples’Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
Replace the word
lives
life
. I agree with this
statement to a maximum extend
and my essay will elaborate on Replace the word
extent
this
in the following paragraphs.
First
of all, volunteering can improve some human’s communicative skills and teach to
kindness. In process of work, Change preposition
apply
person
always has a relationship with other people that can not make an impact in colloquial speech. Add an article
a person
the person
Also
, this
type of activity shows that everything in environment
is connected and it Add an article
the environment
make
Change the verb form
makes
person
become Add an article
a person
the person
more kind
to others. Replace the words
kinder
For instance
, improvement of communication can help to
Change preposition
apply
Add an article
a student
the student
student
in the future with application to university. It gives Fix the agreement mistake
students
a
plenty of opportunities in student’s Remove the article
apply
further
life
.
Secondly
, all of this
stuff change volunteers
mind and they Change noun form
volunteers'
volunteer's
start
appreciate their lives. Because when they participate in charity projects , they see how people live in Add the particle
tostart
a
terrible conditions without Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
a
basic Correct article usage
apply
life
needs. There are the
families, which do not have ordinary food for dinner or Correct article usage
apply
they
do not have a family member. Trips to Correct pronoun usage
apply
orphanage
or nursing Fix the agreement mistake
orphanages
home
can show all Fix the agreement mistake
homes
this
issues. Especially, it will be a wonderful example for Change the determiner
these
young
generation. Sometimes, they forgot about how rich they are and it is not only about Correct article usage
the young
material
state. Add an article
the material
For instance
, charity is held by one of the private school
in Astana per month. After Fix the agreement mistake
schools
individual
Correct article usage
an individual
have
visited Change the verb form
has
charity
, he will start to love the world.
To conclude, Add an article
the charity
the
unpaid activities have a lot Correct article usage
apply
advantages
in any citizen’s Change preposition
of advantages
life
. By doing it, human
it does not only improve Fix the agreement mistake
humans
his
traitsCorrect pronoun usage
their
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
their world outlook. The voluntary always have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
a
amazing consequences.Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite