international sporting events such as the World Cup Footvall can bring people of different nationalities and cultures together far more than any other multinational gathering. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Some
people
say well-known
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
events
like
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
World Cup Football are the major connection tools for assembling
people
of several nationalities and
cultures
together compared to other multinational
events
. I completely disagree with
this
statement, and I will outline the arguments
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
idea, described in the following paragraphs. Some popular
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
activities like football seem to be famous in many
countries
around the world, but there are
also
various kinds of
events
that are favoured by many
cultures
and nations. Music festival in the US, like Coachella, is a good example of
this
where folks from different parts of the earth go spend nights attending
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
live concerts.
Moreover
, the festival contains music of artists from different
countries
resulting in sharing
multicultural
Add an article
a multicultural
the multicultural
show examples
sense of art. Not only does it gather
people
from several
cultures
, but
also
from various generations,
age
Wrong verb form
aged
show examples
between 16 to 50.
In addition
, talent competitions are the possible
events
that combine
people
showing off their unique abilities for money. It is no doubt that the contest interests anyone at no nation limitation who has
encouragement
Add an article
an encouragement
show examples
to provide amusement to
Add an article
an audience
the audience
show examples
audience
Fix the agreement mistake
audiences
show examples
over the world.
For instance
, America’s Got Talent gives a live TV show to catch
attention
Correct article usage
the attention
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
many
countries
.
As a result
, more than
thousand
Correct article usage
a thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
folks from various
countries
come to join the assembles and share their own customs. In conclusion, many sorts of
events
can bring
people
from various
cultures
and nations, not only particular
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
events
. Individuals tend to attend the activities according to their interests. I personally disagree with the given statement that the only
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
events
are the main type that
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
people
together.
Submitted by p.poompimmm on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: