IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent o improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#countries #people #sums #money #railway #lines #trains #cities #transport
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In many countries, some
people
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 believe that paying large amounts of
money
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 on constructing new railway routes for super fast
trains
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 is crucial,
whereas
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 other
people
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 claim that spending
money
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 on the development of present public
transportation
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 is more necessary. I think
this
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 is a challenging topic but for some reasons, it is better to finance improving public
transportation
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. In my point of view, spending
money
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 on developing and expanding public transport is essential because in a city many
people
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due to
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 overpopulation and industrialisation, usually get stuck in heavy traffic in the hustle and bustle time and actually they cannot do their stuff. So, If a government has a plan to create more railways for subways and expand them with lots of stations,
people
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 prefer to use
trains
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 to reach their destinations.
Additionally
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, they should increase buses and taxis for
people
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 whenever they want. Of course, governments can create new modern means of
transportation
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 to compete with other nations
such
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 as monorails, flight cars and other innovative vehicles.
Although
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 these improvements are so effective, some
people
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 believe that making new railway lines for special
trains
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 is more important. In my opinion, when
this
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 idea becomes crucial many cities and countries become close to each other like most European nations. Many countries
such
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 as Germany, France, the Netherlands, England and other nations are linked with super fast railways.
That is
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 really time-saving.
To sum up
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, there is an argument between two groups of
people
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 to spend
money
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 on the railway system for very fast
trains
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 and public transport. It depends on the situation of a country but generally, it is preferable to make finance in public
transportation
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 to make it easy situation for
people
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 to live better.
Submitted by brightstargalaxy on

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task achievement
Support your main points with more relevant and specific examples to make your argument stronger. For instance, mention specific improvements to existing public transport systems that have proven beneficial in certain cities or countries.
coherence cohesion
Your essay can be better organized by ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Make sure to clearly differentiate between the two opposing views discussed.
coherence cohesion
Expand your introduction to briefly outline the points you will discuss. This helps in giving the reader a clear idea of what to expect in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear framework for the essay. This is good for overall structure.
task achievement
You have addressed both viewpoints and provided your own opinion, which meets the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Your language is generally clear and you have explained your ideas adequately, which helps in conveying your message effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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