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Band 7.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #leisure #activities #situation
In
this
 contemporary era, many people usually stretch their work for a very long.
As a result
, they could not afford to spend
time
 on relaxing activities. I propound that,
this
 trend brings more drawbacks than the benefits.
This
 essay examines both sides of the outcome in the detail. To accentuate the negatives, the
first
 and foremost drawback is giving less
time
 to loved ones. Since people spend more
time
 in their offices, they tend to give very less
time
 to their families.
For example
, long-lasting business tours often separate individuals from their dear ones.
This
 could lead to an unhealthy relationship between citizens.
Furthermore
, the populace often experiences stress because they are so involved with their monotonous work and do not spend sufficient
time
 on any entertainment. To illustrate, a recent survey of The Times Magazine accentuated that around 60% of Americal professionals are suffering from not only stress but
also
 depression because of the paramount workload they bear.
On the other hand
, there are a few benefits to working long.
Firstly
, the populace making more money than ever before by spending extra hours in offices.
For instance
, a well-known entrepreneur Alon Musk works 17 hours a day and makes billions that he can spend on luxurious cars, lavish villas etc. Indeed people like him have a fortune amount of money but they do not have the salient things like family,
time
 etc. To conclude, I agree that society can earn more money by giving extra presence to their work but I reckon that there are far more merits of having leisure activities which can help inhabitants to not only relieve pressure but
also
 provide a healthy life.
Submitted by mahesh029 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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