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Band 4

People today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out. What are the causes? What are the solutions?

#people #home
It is
deniable
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undeniable
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 that an increasing number of individuals feel unsafe, not only when they are out somewhere, but
also
 when they are at residence. In
this
 essay, we will into the causes of
this
 phenomenon and provide possible remedies. There are numerous reasons why people are afraid
for
Change preposition
of
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 going out of their houses. The prominent reason is crimes being committed on the street, are on a rise
such
 as murder, house robbery, and stealing.
Due to
 unemployment, some folks commit crimes because they have no choice. Another significant reason is
that
Correct word choice
apply
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food poisoning. The majority of the individuals are suffering from health issues.
For instance
, Toxic substances are injected into many products to maintain the food's freshness for a longer time, and
that is
 why state hospitals are now filled with cancer and
heart-diseases
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heart disease
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 problems. Fortunately, there are several solutions to overcome the problems.
Firstly
, the council should have to provide vocational training and good job opportunities that will help to reduce the crime rate. Even management must increase the penalty fine if it's a small crime.
Secondly
, security provided in public transport will enhance the opportunities for people to travel comfortably in public transportation.
Moreover
, the Camera
has
Verb problem
is
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also
 an important factor
to provide
Change preposition
in providing
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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safety, which needs to be taken by the government.
For example
, in Bengaluru, the executive has imposed a law to install cameras outside the showrooms or shops for security purposes that will be randomly checked by the administration to track the records in all commercial areas. In a nutshell,
although
 there are many factors that people feel at risk at home or
outdoor
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outdoors
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, the government is
the
Change preposition
in the
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 best position to solve these problems.
Submitted by info.rahil on

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task response
Ensure that each paragraph addresses a specific point related to the causes and solutions of feeling unsafe. Additionally, provide a clear opinion on the causes and solutions presented.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, and the logical flow of ideas could be improved by using transition words to connect sentences and paragraphs.
lexical resource
Work on expanding your vocabulary and using more precise and accurate words to express your ideas. Avoid repetition and consider using synonyms to add variety to your language.
grammatical range
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence structures. Use a variety of sentence structures to demonstrate a range of grammatical structures.
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