IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #work #time #community #teenager #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
While it's believed by some people that young adults participating in unpaid
work
Use synonyms
 in their leisure time would benefit them as individuals and the community in general, I indeed think that teenagers should be integrated into
such
Linking Words
 activities from
such
Linking Words
 young age, which empower their
sens
Correct your spelling
sense
show examples
 of citizenship and responsibility towards the
society
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
teenage-hood
Correct your spelling
teenagehood
show examples
 is a critical time in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 person's life, so participating in unpaid community
work
Use synonyms
 would benefit these teenagers.
in other words
Linking Words
, they learn that they are part of
this
Linking Words
society
Use synonyms
 so they take responsibility
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 keeping problem-free.
For instance
Linking Words
, if children are given
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 of collecting the
neighberhood's
Correct your spelling
neighborhood's
 wastes, they will learn that keeping the road clean falls
into
Change preposition
on
show examples
 them and that wastes should be
disposed
Add the preposition
ofdisposed
show examples
 in a proper way.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
youngesters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
 should be engaged in local activities since it shapes
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
personnalities
Correct your spelling
personalities
 to grow into a good
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 in the future.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
those
Change preposition
with those
show examples
 non-paid activities made by these young adults, the
society
Use synonyms
 will thrive. To put it differently, empowering
society
Use synonyms
 comes from its citizens,
moreover
Linking Words
 working in groups provides an atmosphere of solidarity and togetherness.
For example
Linking Words
, teenagers are learning how to care and respect for those who are in need while working in a school of
endicaped
Correct your spelling
handicapped
indicated
 people. social
work
Use synonyms
raise
Change the verb form
raises
show examples
 the awareness and empathy of
youngest
Correct article usage
the youngest
show examples
, these
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 why it should be
requiered
Correct your spelling
required
recovered
. in conclusion, there are many good reasons why unpaid community
work
Use synonyms
 must be introduced at
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
such
Linking Words
 young age
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since it not only
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them grow
personaly
Correct your spelling
personally
personality
 but
also
Linking Words
 it is the hope for a bright future and the
society
Use synonyms
's prosperity.
Submitted by majdouline.azouzoute on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: