Some people prefer to develop a large social circle, whereas others prefer to have a few close relationships. Discuss the advantages of both. Then state which situation you prefer and why.

#people #circle #relationships #situation

Choosing how many friends to have may be a difficult decision everybody faces. Having large social circles is an issue which brings benefits

such

as getting access to more opportunities,

as well as

drawbacks including the lack of confidence within. The main advantage of belonging to big groups is the increase in chances

such

as job offers and all kinds of information. As more people are known through the circle, it is more likely to find someone who could be interested in the talent of a

person

. There could be,

for example

, the case where an English teacher gets to a school director who is looking for a replacement. Apart from that, diversifying the social links is

also

important for human development. In the way of hanging out with many others, an individual has been listening to different views of the world,

different

Correct word choice

and different

show examples

life’s living experiences, among other teachings.

On the other hand

, the benefit of having few networks and close relationships is the high levels of confidence members might develop with each other. Depending on what is crucial for a

person

, some may prefer to be part of groups where they feel secure about what is said or done within the circle. Usually,

this

will be more fundamental if the

person

is older and is not looking for friends to spend the weekend.

This

can apply

also

for

Change preposition

show examples

anyone who in the past has come through bad situations and now is trying to be around people who might give them support. In conclusion, expanding the social spaces where a

person

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

socialize allows

Correct pronoun usage

one to

show examples

find windows of access to professional possibilities which could be hard to find;

however

, maintaining close relationships can enforce

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

confidence in a more desirable form within the group.

Submitted by info on Wed Apr 27 2022

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task response

Well done! Your essay addresses the task prompt effectively by discussing the advantages of both having a large social circle and a few close relationships, and then stating your preference.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay maintains a clear logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing the advantages of each option, and a conclusion. Work on improving the connection between your ideas in some parts for better coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people prefer to develop a large social circle, whereas others prefer to have a few close relationships. Discuss the advantages of both. Then state which situation you prefer and why.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think it's the government's responsibility to tackle environmental issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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