Some say that for any country hosting an international sports event such as the Olympic Games is costly, inefficient and is a waste of money, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Organising international
events
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always requires a significant amount of revenue, which can be difficult for developing countries.
However
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, supporters have said that these
events
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can be the source of employment. I will discuss both arguments , and I believe that hosting the
Olympic
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sports can be the beginning of new jobs for the local community. One of the significant reasons is the deficiency of modern infrastructure in developing nations. These countries have to upgrade their stadiums because they host players who come from various other nations.
For example
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, improving the ground, seats and other amenities can cost millions of dollars, which may put these countries in heavy debt as compared to providing profit. Since they cannot afford a large amount of money, it becomes difficult for them to build a well-equipped stadium for the
Olympic
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sports, discouraging them from constructing modern facilities.
On the other hand
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, the
Olympic
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sports offer numerous jobs for local people. When developed nations organise these
events
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, many individuals prefer to find jobs there.
For instance
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, security, directors, event staff, catering, cleaning and other employment, allowing them to enjoy the event
while
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earning.
This
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revenue can be generated from people who have paid for seating, as the cost of seats is high. The more individuals purchase expensive tickets, the easier it becomes for organisers to pay to employees. In conclusion,
although
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hosting
Olympic
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events
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requires a large investment, it
also
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creates many job opportunities and helps generate income for local people.
Therefore
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, organising
such
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events
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can benefit both the economy and the community.

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weakness
Task response: The essay talks about both sides but the last line does not give a very clear, strong view. Add a short, clear view at the end.
suggestion
Task response: Add one or two real, simple examples to back the points and show how the ideas affect people.
suggestion
Coherence: Some ideas stay the same and jump a bit. Use small links like first, then, also, but to move ideas from one bit to the next.
suggestion
Coherence: Start each paragraph with a clear idea and end with a link to the next paragraph.
strength
The plan is clear: cost and job side, then a view.
strength
You give a view and you try to show why.
strength
There is some use of examples about jobs and seats.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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