IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some says that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others To what extent do you agree or disagree

#opportunity
In today's modernized era, it is argued by many folks that giving hand to
others
 in society is associated with their wealth because they have a chance to help
others
 and, it is a crucial point. In my perspective, being a rich person is not a substantial issue when it comes to helping
others
. On the one hand,
although
people
 with high socioeconomic status can help the other person in society easier, middle-class
people
 can donate in many sections as much as they afford. One justification often given for ordinary
people
 is that they have an appropriate amount of
money
 in their hands so they can donate to charity, organizations and even prepare food for poor
people
 by themselves. Take Tehran as the most patently obvious example among cities in Iran, the vast majority of
people
 are middle-class individuals but we can find out through the statistics that most of them tend to help the
others
 and we can not find absolute poverty there.
However
, if we study sociology, we can figure out that poor or ordinary
people
 have far more tendency to donate their
money
 and their belongings to
others
.
Hence
, they feel the poverty more than rich
people
 so they want the pauperdom to be disappeared because they are completely aware of the consequence of do not have
money
 in their lifetime.
Moreover
, the majority of rich individuals want to flaunt their wealth to the
others
 and as they had many difficulties in making
money
, they can not be generous enough to give their
money
 to someone who needed that. In conclusion, having
money
 is not of paramount importance when someone wants to help
others
 and, everyone can donate to
others
 as much as they can.
Nonetheless
, authorities can play a pivotal role in conducting awareness of
people
 in society.
Submitted by sahel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: