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Band 6

Childhood is the most significant time in an individual’s life. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#childhood #time #individual’s #life
Childhood is the stage in life which almost everyone would like to go back to. In my opinion,
this
 is the most significant moment in __ individual's life given that children have no concerns to be worried about as well as they know how to make real
friends
. The main reason why these years are the most valuable in life is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
 infants usually are completely free of
preocupations
Correct your spelling
preoccupations
preoccupation
. At
this
 point, almost everybody has a lot of free time to do the activities they want to do most.
This
 is why,
for example
, it is
commonly
Replace the word
common
show examples
 that young people
spend
Fix the infinitive
to spend
show examples
 usually their days playing at the park or connected on videogames.
Similarly
, in the majority of cases, if children make part of an average family, they will not have financial worries. But, as they grow up, they will start to know the difficulties of making enough resources for the expenses and,
therefore
, they will sum stress to their lives. Apart from being free of concerns, during
childhood
Add a comma
,childhood
show examples
 it is more likely to make real
friends
. It is not a lie that as a person
advance
Change the verb form
advances
show examples
 in years, due to different reasons,
it
Correct pronoun usage
he
she
show examples
 starts becoming more interested
on
Change the preposition
in
show examples
 what the others can offer in return.
That is
 why adults usually
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 developed more professional relationships. Children,
on the contrary
, are only looking for
friends
 to play
and
Change preposition
with and
show examples
 do fun activities. They can
last
 a complete day playing sports
such
 as soccer,
basquetball
Correct your spelling
basketball
 or baseball while only eating an apple in the intermedium. In conclusion, the
first
 years are commonly the most relevant considering that at
this
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
 there are
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 worries as well as there are a lot of
friends
 to share with.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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