IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Crime rates are increasing in the recent years in all countries and it is becoming more violent . Why do you think is? What can be done for it?

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In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary world, criminal
activities
Use synonyms
 are
enhancing
Wrong verb form
enhanced
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social communities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, crimes have affected
in
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apply
show examples
detrimental
Change the article
a detrimental
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 way in the public lives and
also
Linking Words
 it is becoming
brutal
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a brutal
show examples
 issue. I believe, there have important reasonable factors, why
such
Linking Words
activities
Use synonyms
prone
Add a missing verb
are prone
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. What is the main reason for crime-related actions and recommendations to obstacle these bad
activities
Use synonyms
.
Change the punctuation
?
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To begin
Linking Words
 with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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poverty is the major reason for violence. Particularly, people want to fulfil their needs and requirements in
lives
Correct pronoun usage
their lives
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. Wherever poor people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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cannot afford to gain necessities, undoubtedly they have engaged
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 these criminal tasks. Whenever they have enrolled with
such
Linking Words
 actions, never fear to
do
Correct your spelling
so
show examples
 because they thought
this
Linking Words
 is the only way to acquire their needs.
For example
Linking Words
, in 2000 an Indian survey shows that 60% of local people who came from poor family
background
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backgrounds
show examples
, mostly
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 these bad
activities
Use synonyms
 among
8ndian
Correct article usage
the 8ndian
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 community.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the public
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 bad
impressions
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impression
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towards
Change preposition
of
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 poor families.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
as
Correct word choice
apply
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the
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apply
show examples
responsible government authorities should want to implement rules and regulations to mitigate these issues. When local authorities have implemented laws
to
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for
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welfare
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the welfare
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 of the public and it definitely
assist
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assists
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 to reduce these brutal problems in the community.
For example
Linking Words
, In 2010 Nigeria had 80% of
raoe
Correct your spelling
rare
 cases, due to
this
Linking Words
 the government implemented a law
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 assisted to decline rape
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
 in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, the majority of countries have made policies and schemes against these crimes and criminals. In conclusion, as a
citizen
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,citizen
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 we want to become more and more responsible for our future
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
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. If we
able
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
 to follow rules and regulations against violence bww can get
peaceful
Correct article usage
a peaceful
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 community .

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime rates
  • violent crimes
  • economic disparities
  • social structures
  • urbanization
  • rehabilitation programs
  • law enforcement
  • values erosion
  • substance abuse
  • media influence
  • community-based programs
  • poverty
  • unemployment
  • public-private partnerships
  • organized crime
  • trafficking
  • cross-sector collaboration
  • preventative measures
  • statutory sentencing
  • juvenile delinquency
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