Some people prefer to have temporary jobs, which means they only work a few months in a year and use the rest of the time to do what they want. What is your opinion?

Nowadays, individuals tend to
work
for several months a year and spend the rest of
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
show examples
on leisure things. While others believe that it’s necessary to keep a full-
time
job
to fulfil family needs. To me, both views have their own benefits, in
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I will discuss
this
topic from different perspectives and confirm my own opinion. On one hand, the development of society and the economy has changed in recent decades, individuals have more opportunities to choose their lifestyle.
Firstly
, some
people
are able to
work
for a flexible occupation due to the nature of their
job
is easy to allocate working
time
.
In particular
, the self-media owner, who cooperate with the customer to select a product, promote branding and host online sales during peak season, like The Black Friday in west countries, and double eleven shopping festival in China, the high return to self-media KOL allow them to
work
for several months a year and release them to enjoy rest of
time
for leisure.
Secondly
, some
people
prefer to keep
work-life
Add an article
a work-life
show examples
balance, they lower their desirable
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
materials to exchange free
time
for more care
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
their health physically and mentally.
Lastly
, artists tend to teach three days per week in school, the rest of
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
they try different things to light up inspiration, which would support
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
art creation to fulfil
Add an article
a dream
the dream
show examples
dream
Fix the agreement mistake
dreams
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
artistical.
On the other hand
, some
people
not only
work
for earning money or fulfil artistic pursuits but
also
keeping
Wrong verb form
keep
show examples
hired
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
the position based on a sense of responsibility.
For example
,
people
work
as
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
,
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
and soldiers, their
job
indispensably should rate at the highest ranking in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society since they are saving
life
Add an article
a life
show examples
, educating children and protecting the
people
of the country.
Furthermore
, a full-
time
job
is suitable for
people
who get married with kids, a stable income by full-
time
job
is important for a family to buy nutritious food or promote study skills for kids. In conclusion, both of those choices have their own reasons and contribute the same to society, human is free to make their decision upon on for themselves,
which
Change preposition
about which
show examples
type of
work
they prefer.
Submitted by yell00 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexibility
  • pursue
  • self-development
  • life satisfaction
  • balance
  • job security
  • financial instability
  • stress and anxiety
  • unemployment
  • long-term financial commitments
  • diverse experiences
  • employability
  • broader perspective
  • adaptable
  • innovative
  • career progression
  • benefits
  • personal growth
  • financial security
  • invest
  • career milestones
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